Felton International Training, Education, Testing & Therapeutic Programs

Let's Talk About Anxiety

Let’s talk about anxiety. I don’t want to bore you with stats because if you are a professional, you already know that stress can be debilitating, almost 18% of the population has it, and that it doesn’t have to be irrational…even though some may feel it is. Still, they haven’t walked in your shoes.

Amidst COVID-19, perhaps many have walked in your shoes, which makes the numbers and stats higher and even more prevalent. Sometimes until there is a trigger or something becomes normalized, we feel it’s just us.

Well, now it’s not just us….everyone is stressed, overwhelmed, anxiety-driven. Some call it fear…fear of the unknown…our old fears now realized. Either way, we are anxious!

Believe it or not, anxiety is a safety precaution. It’s normalized in the way it keeps you from stepping in front of moving traffic or making life-altering decisions that you will regret.

So, how can you reduce your anxiety? For professionals, this is especially daunting because we want to remain calm during a time of crisis. If our primary roles are to help others minimize their anxiety, but we are overwhelmed with our own…how, do we help ourselves and others at the same time?

When we talk about feelings…we often say anxious…but what if we were to recognize our anxiety as more than an emotion. Being able to understand that anxiety can affect you psychologically and physically as well. It’s common to have a fight or flight response. What we often forget is that fear doesn’t last forever, and as you can calm your mind, you will be able to slow down your heart rate and deal with what is causing you to feel anxious.

I have had several professionals who are under the ‘Stay at Home order’ state that they feel anxiety at home. I would generally inquire about your surroundings and how moving away from an anxiety provoking environment can be helpful, however, if you are at home…your anxiety can be better managed. In this instance, it is probably not tied to the environment (your place of comfort physically) but where you are psychologically.

Work on identifying where your comfort lies with working with clients in your home, create a specific place for which to work and keep your focus on helping your clients embrace this change. What am I going to say? Yes, follow your own advice!

Until next time,

Dr. Felton

Four Ways of Achieving Your Goals:

 A Therapeutic Coaching Perspective 

When I began this journey, over 33 years ago, I was a United States Marine. I wasn't aware of how doing something for yourself could impact your life in the same way that doing something for others could impact theirs. Over the past eighteen years, I have spent my civilian career working as a psychotherapist, therapist, CEO, author, publisher, speaker, professor, and therapeutic coach, most at the same time. I have expanded services to professionals, paraprofessionals, and executives as well as individuals, families, couples, groups, and organizations. What I have come to realize is that change is inevitable. It is not the fear of change but the fear of accomplishment that stops us in our tracks.


I have seen the rise in professionals needing support as they work through changes they feel are forced because of COVID-19. During any crisis, is the time to embrace change...do not shy from it or try to wait it out until things 'go back to normal.' They may never go back to normal...so we must embrace a 'new normal' and make change work for us. So, I wanted to share four key elements that I have incorporated into my therapeutic coaching practice that has worked well for numerous years.


Four years ago, my family departed Riyadh, Saudi Arabia for another go at living in the United States...and... because we were once again embracing change. I have been able to share with my clients how living abroad has helped me identify these aspects of being successful anywhere on the globe.


Identify Who You Are: This no easy feat as we often see ourselves through the eyes of others. When we value other's opinions of ourselves more than our own, it gives us an unclear visual. This visual causes us to overlook what we should work on. In other instances, someone else's point of view of us can be overwhelming. Learn how to give yourself grace while identifying your strengths and areas for improvement. Ultimately, learn how to be non-judgmental of yourself.


Identify Who You Value and Why: We often find ourselves surrounded by those we love, have invested time in relationships, and find it difficult to walk away from unhealthy situations or find a way to explain their value based on time and investment. The same goes for identifying the benefit of those who surround us. Work on becoming neutral as a supervisor or developing new relationships. ' What does neutrality get you? You will be able to allow others in your circle who deserve to be there, willing to work hard to achieve their goals, and the awareness that they are aligned to help you work towards success as well. Work becomes a team effort in all aspects of your life.


Communicate...Communicate...Communicate: I repeated this because it's not new but can be the most challenging in being able to move ahead. This time communication is not just about knowing how to speak to others, it's about communicating your words and affirmations of success to yourself. What will this do for you? Teach you how to become a better leader and help you lead through a crisis. Self-communication is your ultimate test of lifelong success.


Re-Write the Narrative: If you find that you feel limited in your abilities to move forward, re-evaluate where you are, what you are doing, and for whom. The meaning of your story doesn't change. It is what it is. How the old narrative drags you down, holds you back, helps you hold on to old fears, or create new concerns indicates a time for a change. How we look at something can be uplifting and debilitating. Take the time to measure your value and use what has caused pain to uplift you in the direction of your goals. You have become stronger emotionally and psychologically through the years but may have a difficult time truly identifying and embracing your self-worth. So, think about it. What did that pain do for you? Somehow what we endure helps prepare us and push us through to the next stepping stone.

Thank you for taking the time to read this to the end, and I hope it has helped you put some aspects of positive thinking in perspective.

Until next time: Dr. Felton

FTC LLC Blog 2020

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Acceptance

March 18, 2020

Acceptance:

In the most challenging time, we struggle with trying to define how we feel, understanding why we are impacted, and how to move forward. In these moments, we often try to find words to describe what happens next in our lives. Acceptance appears to be the struggle that leaves us wanting to tackle things that are causing us the most duress.

As young adults, we learn that there are some things that we don’t have to accept and that we can implement change when we feel the need to do so. We are not struggling with the fact that we are having to use our serenity pray and ‘accept the things we cannot change.’

Accepting does not mean we have to like the change or embrace it; however, accepting change is a way of embracing the choices you have remaining of things out of your control. If we reject it, we often find that we may go through undue suffering. We can minimize this process by choosing to work within the confines of our struggle and find ways to reduce the struggle. Being proactive in this process allows us the opportunity to work on aspects of ourselves and relationships that may be neglected.

Things to remember:

Acceptance does not mean it’s going to be this way forever

Acceptance does not mean that you are no longer proactive in your goal setting

Accepting does not mean that you are now open to the requirements of others.

Acceptance means you are embracing what is by working on what will be.

Dr. Felton

Co-Parenting Workshop- Virtual and Face to Face Programs

March 17, 2020

SEVEN KEYS TO SOUND CO-PARENTING *

I will respect the other parent’s autonomy with the children.

I will use the “on-duty/off-duty” parent concept.

I will follow the model of a business relationship when dealing with each other.

I acknowledge and respect the importance of the other parent’s relationship with the children.

I will not assume anything; give the benefit of the doubt.

I will Communicate about the children using effective communication tools.

I will make containing the conflict a top priority.

MAKING CO-PARENTING WORK

Separate parenting issues from spousal issues

Create clear boundaries for new co-parenting relationships.

Disengage from areas except parenting.

Monitor your own thinking

Redefine the relationship in your mind.

Compartmentalize the present parenting role from the spousal role

Think and talk to the other parent all areas except parenting

Think and talk about the other parent as a co-parent 


Dr. Felton

How to Remain Mentally and Emotionally Healthy during the Pandemic COVID-19 for Professionals, Para-Professionals, and Executives

March 16, 2020

Coping with Forced Change

It has always been difficult to embrace change, and the coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) makes embracing change feel forced, causing a significant amount of stress and anxiety for professionals, para-professionals, and executives. There is a considerable amount of fear associated with the unknown. The duration of the unknown, how to prepare your family and how to manage your personal level of stress, and internalized fear while remaining calm to help others causes a vast amount of anxiety. You are not alone.

From what we know, COVID-19 affects those with a compromised immune system, those who are older, but we also realize that younger children and young adults have also been negatively affected. Those who are not medically compromised are also being affected in ways we could never have imagined. The entire world is having to change how they think, process, and decide how we interact, support, conduct our daily routines, and manage our professional work areas.

If you are in a helping or executive profession, you may find it especially challenging to offer comfort and support to others when you are also fearful of the unknown. Everyone is going to need much more assistance than they could have ever imagined.

Whether you are directly or indirectly impacted, everyone will worry, and this includes family members, co-workers, friends, and extended support systems. Those that struggle with mental health, poor coping skills, poor socioeconomic status, drug and alcohol struggles, may find this time even more challenging. You must practice self-care through mindfulness during this time.

Self-Care

It’s normal to neglect yourself when you are in a helping or executive profession, and we often do. However, doing so can have even more detrimental effects than previously. Be sure to make time between clients to take a break from those things that can cause you additional stress. These include but not limited to the local news and social media. Although challenging, this is a good opportunity to participate in virtual yoga, meditation, healthy eating, getting plenty of sleep, and connecting with other professionals, friends, and family members.

Keep Yourself Safe

Learn the symptoms of COVID-19 so you are aware if you come in contact with others who might be infected. If you feel you are overwhelmed, seek assistance yourself so you can be your best self when working with clients/patients.

Dr. Felton

CEO FTC LLC

Therapeutic Coach

Angola, Indiana 46703

[email protected]